Planning your own wedding is, as I found out pretty quickly, one of the most stressful things you can put yourself through. Zack and I got engaged in 2020, but postponed getting married until local guidelines and restrictions were a lot looser and closer to normal given the state of the world. Unfortunately, here in the Bay Area those things have been changing on a whim for the last two years, so when 2022 rolled around and things seemed more or less stable, I suddenly decided this was definitely going to be the year we finally tied the knot — and gave myself 11 months to get it all planned out.
I knew I wanted to get married in October. Weather wise, it's perfect for people like Zack who hate the heat, and autumnal colors are some of the most beautiful that nature has to offer. October is also a meaningful month for me: it's when my parents got married and when my Grandma Angela was born. So once the month and date were set, I immediately started looking for a venue.
The Venues: Ceremony + Reception
Churches were out of the question; I'm (a not very devout) Catholic and Zack is an atheist, and the Catholic Church has rules about Catholics and non-Catholics marrying within a church. I then started looking for venues within cities that are meaningful to me and Zack: Oakland (where we lived together for six years, where my dad's side of the family is from, where Zack lived for years before meeting me), Berkeley (where Zack went to college and lived, where we've spent time together), San Leandro (where I grew up, where we bought our house), and Alameda (where I was born and have spent time with my family growing up). Unfortunately, because so many couples postponed their weddings, too, venues were booked well in advance and their prices had skyrocketed to take advantage of people. After looking into dozens of venues that were either not available or way out of our price range, I remembered a place we'd been to a few times while living in Oakland: the Morcom Rose Garden.
This beautiful, sprawling art deco garden is a landmark and overflowing with roses during the height of their season. With a large reflecting pool and cascading fountain, it's a gorgeous place that has an understated, humble elegance that avoids being ostentatious and captures the sophisticated beauty of the era in which it was built. After what would wind up being the most painful process of any of the vendors we worked with (the City of Oakland is ridiculous in so many ways), we booked the garden for our wedding on Saturday, October 15, 2022.
That left us with a question: where did we want to do the reception? It was already risky having an outdoor wedding in October — we could either experience a heat wave, common in fall in the Bay Area, or rain, both of which would make eating outside miserable in a place totally exposed to the open sky.
Shortly after booking the garden, Zack and I decided to try Trader Vic's in Emeryville for dinner one night. I really like the retro tiki aesthetic (which has inspired much of my dining room decor) and loved The Kon-Tiki in Oakland when we lived two blocks away, so I wanted to check out Trader Vic's. In the middle of the meal I started looking around, taking in the space, and turned to Zack and asked what he thought about possibly having our reception there. On board with the idea, I reached out to Trader Vic's and started the process of booking one of their private dining rooms for the reception. Reception venue: done.
The Dress
With the most major details set — where we were getting married and how we were feeding our guests — it was time to focus on what I feared would be the most difficult part of planning the entire wedding: finding my dress. This wound up being one of the easiest processes, in part because I'm so picky that I know exactly what I like and don't like, and in part because the ladies at Janene's Bridal in Alameda were so helpful, kind, and patient.
The first wedding dress I ever tried on wound up being my dress: The Winnie by La Perle. It was totally unlike any of the silhouettes I came into the shop hoping to try on, but just the sleeve sticking out on the rack caught my eye before I pulled it out and was totally taken by it. They say you know your dress when you find it; my mom knew it first and started crying as soon as I came out of the dressing room in it, but when I saw myself in the mirror I had a feeling this would be it. I tried on a few more and only one came anywhere near close to how I felt when I was in it. I was down to the Winnie and the other dress, changing in and out of them, torn; three other saleswomen had come over at this point to swoon over the Winnie and told me it wasn't just an incredible dress — they said that my face nearly glowed when I was in it, in a way I didn't in the second dress.
One of the ladies asked me something that actually helped me a lot: she asked if I could see myself wearing the second dress to an event other than my wedding, and I said yes. That's when I knew that, as gorgeous as it was, maybe it wasn't the one. The Winnie was it. It was my personality in a dress, a dress that I wouldn't wear to a glamorous party, but to the most important event of my life.
The subsequent appointments to tailor the dress were easily some of the best experiences of the wedding planning process. The seamstress was incredible and the ladies in Janene's alterations shop were attentive and kind. They fit the dress to me perfectly and did stunning work. But to prospective brides who may be reading this: don't wait five months before your wedding day to dress shop, like I did. Janene's was nice enough to sell my parents the floor model (which, luckily, was in perfect condition because hardly any brides had tried it on) because, with the short time frame and continued supply chain issues, it likely wouldn't have arrived in time. I went in ignorant as to how much time is required to order and alter a wedding dress, and thankfully it worked out for me, but don't take the chance I did.
The Flowers
Same advice for the dress applies to the florist: don't wait a few months before your wedding to find one. This was one of the hardest searches of my planning process, from both an availability and a styling standpoint. Many of the local florists I contacted were booked solid. I also wanted to work with florists who not only documented their work well, but who had done tropical arrangements. Knowing that I was going with a tiki theme for the wedding, I was looking for someone who could seamlessly blend the tropical elements with the surroundings of the art deco rose garden, to give the guests a sneak peek of what to expect at the reception and help one venue transition into the next.
Brother & Sisters Flower Shop came to mind while I was doing my search; I'd been there once before and their shop is very close to the garden. After contacting them, the owner, Freya, got back to me really quickly and we talked over the phone about my vision for the flowers. I shared inspiration photos to give her an idea of what I was looking for, told her what arrangements we needed, gave her my budget constraints, and later that day she sent me a quote.
Freya and her team created stunning arrangements that captured exactly what I was looking for. She made my vision come to life better than I could've imagined, and my bouquet was just gorgeous. For the table displays, we decided to do a random assortment of terracotta and tiki vases to keep things interesting, while I opted for only two arrangements for the ceremony: oversized terracotta pots on either side of the altar, with huge palm leaves. The tea-colored roses mixed into my bouquet paid homage to the rose garden, while the tropical assortment played up the tiki vibes. Together with the bamboo chairs we rented from AM Party Rentals, everything worked in harmony at the garden and created a lush scene at Trader Vic's.
The Music
I wanted to create a classy ambiance at the ceremony without it feeling stuffy, so I looked into live bands to handle all of the music before, during, and after the event. I came across Magnolia Jazz Band, a local jazz trio who make absolutely beautiful music together. Robbie was truly enjoyable to work with, helped make planning the tropical bossanova-style setlist easy, and the band put together an awesome rendition of Como Te Quiero by Khruangbin (which they'd never played before), which I wanted for our processional.
Robbie and the band were professional, kind, friendly, and insanely talented, and so many guests came up to me after the ceremony to tell me how much they loved the band. I would highly recommend reaching out the them if you're Bay Area based and looking for music for your wedding or event. Working with Magnolia Jazz Band was one of the best choices I made for our wedding — absolutely stress-free and the easiest experience of the whole process.
The Photographer
I knew finding the right photographer was going to be a task. Again, I'm so particular about everything and knew the look I wanted for the photos, but also know that the photographer is oftentimes one of the biggest expenses for couples, which made me nervous. I reached out to a longtime friend of mine, who used to do wedding photography, to see if I could work with him to photograph our wedding, but learned that he's no longer in the business. However, he recommended a few others he worked with in the past, including Carly Jean Photography.
Carly's work was exactly what I wanted for our photos, so I contacted her for a quote. While she was outside of our price range, she worked with our budget to find a suitable arrangement for us. She suggested that we could work with one of her partner photographers and second shooters whose style is in line with her own; after reviewing their portfolio, I was really happy with the suggestion and we were partnered with Jessi Clare.
Jessi did a phenomenal job of working with our families to make everyone feel comfortable for the family portraits while keeping us on schedule throughout the day. She also captured some really beautiful candid moments, which I was looking forward to the most. This photo of me and my cousin Stephanie, who was my maid of honor, is one of my very favorite shots of our entire wedding album. It encapsulates our relationship in a nutshell, and every time I see it I remember mumbling something to Steph that made her laugh and she couldn't contain it, which resulted in this moment.
If you're planning your wedding, make sure to do your research on average photographer pricing and schedule well in advance to ensure the person you want is free to work your wedding. The photographer is so important because they're responsible for one of the biggest responsibilities of the day: recording the entire event through their photos so you have something to look back on to remember the day. Don't be irresponsible with your money; stick to your budget, but ensure that you're truly happy with your photographer and their work before hiring them. This is one of the most important expenses of the event, in my opinion, and Jessi and Carly did an incredible job capturing and editing our photos.
The Rings
Both my engagement ring and wedding band are from Mociun, from their Luna collection. I opted for the wedding band without any diamonds, preferring the clean look of the solid gold band against the glittering engagement ring to help it stand out and provide some contrast. While traditionally the wedding band goes under your engagement ring to be closest to your heart, mine sits on top because of the cluster-style of my engagement ring. Zack found his matching gold band at Zales, a simple but weighty rounded band that compliments my set very well.
The Wedding Day — 10.15.22
Months of planning, coordinating, and communicating culminated in what was the greatest day of my life. I married my best friend in front of our family and friends, and we got to have the people we love all together for a day. We were honored to be married by my uncle, Father Leonard Marrujo, in the garden, which was more beautiful than I expected. I took a chance on the garden hopefully still being in bloom with the last roses of the year, and my bet paid off: the entire garden was in bloom with an explosion of roses, the reflecting pool was clean and clear, and the cascade fountain was on for the first time in all the years Zack and I had been going there.
I wondered if my Grandma Angela helped influence the beauty of the garden that day, looking down on us with Grandpa Carlos and Uncle Carlos. It felt that way, at least.
After the ceremony, we took photos with our families, and then they all headed to Trader Vic's for the reception while Zack and I stayed behind in the garden to do our couple's portraits. Newlyweds, try to take a moment alone with each other sometime between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception. It's really nice to be able to catch your breath and recognize that you're finally married, that this is the first step in the journey you'll both be taking together for the rest of your lives, and to just enjoy each other's company for a moment before getting back to the celebration.
After the couple's portraits we made our way to Trader Vic's for the reception. The staff there worked hard to set up the Captain's Cabin, their largest private room, and incorporate our floral arrangements to make for a totally beautiful atmosphere. The tables looked particularly cool with the variety of tiki mugs we bought from Trader Vic's as our wedding favors for our guests. We had a pretty view of the water, and guests could go out to the deck to get drinks at our private bar and take in the scenery. Dinner was the delicious Polynesian and Asian fare Trader Vic's is known for, followed by speeches from Zack's longtime best friend and best man, Tomm, as well as Steph, my parents, Zack's mom, myself, and Zack. Steph in particular made an incredibly meaningful, beautiful speech that had pretty much everyone in the room in tears by the end.
Speeches were followed by our first dance, which was also Como Te Quiero, our processional song. We did our parent dances together, me with my dad and Zack with his mom, to Ain't That Love by Ray Charles. Then everyone got up to boogie on the dance floor to our playlist.
I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. While I planned our wedding myself, I didn't make it happen alone. Our parents, Tony and Julie and Barbara and Steven, were critical in making the day possible, and lots of other family members helped in so many ways. My brother Robert was point man for the florist, chair guys, band, and photographer at the garden, getting there way early to meet them and coordinate setup; my Uncle Michael organized our transportation to the garden and from the garden to Trader Vic's; Zack's mom, Barbara, and his Aunts Susan and Nancy threw our families a beautiful rehearsal dinner at Paradiso in San Leandro the night before the wedding, with contributions from Zack's sister Julia and her husband Kunal; my Uncle Leonard married us, and the day after the wedding he and our family friend, Sister Nancy, threw us an after-wedding BBQ at his house; my cousins Sean, Dominic, and Jack helped Robert move those gigantic urns from the altar to be used in the family portraits at the garden; and of course, Steph and Tomm did us the great honor of being our maid of honor and best man and our witnesses. Steph threw me an amazing bridal shower before the wedding at my parents' house, and my cousins Dominic and Nathan and Uncle Daniel helped with all the setup and takedown, while my parents worked incredibly hard to get the house and backyard ready for guests. My cousin Courtney did my and Steph's hair for the wedding and did absolutely gorgeous work.
On top of all of this, all of the vendors we worked with were awesome. Just incredibly hard working people all around: the chair guys (who had to roll 60 chairs up an incline, set them up, and take them away same-day), our drivers, our florist and photographer, the band, everyone at the restaurant. Nothing could've happened without them.
My heart has never felt more full, and I was so grateful looking out at the dining room filled with the people I love deeply. I'll never forget it, and I'm thrilled to enter married life with Zack.
— All photos in this blog taken by Jessi Clare for Carly Jean Photography —
List of Vendors + Other Details
Ceremony location: Morcom Rose Garden | Oakland, California
Reception location: Trader Vic's | Emeryville, California
Bridal boutique + alterations: Janene's Bridal | Alameda, California
Chair rental: AM Party Rentals | San Leandro, California
Ceremony music: Magnolia Jazz Band | Bay Area, California
Florist: Brother & Sisters Flower Shop | Oakland, California
Photographer: Jessi Clare for Carly Jean Photography | Bay Area, California
Cars: Black Tie Transportation | Pleasanton, California
Invitation suite: Intricate Diamond (Slate + Gold) by Minted
Ring box: Velvet Ring Box (Triple Slot) in burnt orange
Angela's wedding dress: Winnie by La Perle
Angela's shoes: Modi Sandal by Dolce Vita
Angela's rings: The Luna collection by Mociun
Angela's hair: Courtney Gillum
Angela's nails: Wicked by Essie, done by myself
Angela's makeup: Done by myself
Angela's earrings: Mejuri
Angela's perfume (not that you can smell it through the screen): Mojave Ghost by Byredo
Zack and Tomm's suits: Calvin Klein
Zack's shoes: Bruno Magli
Zack's tie: DAZI
Zack's ring: Zales
Tomm's tie: Tie Bar
Stephanie's dress: The Juliette by Reformation
Stephanie's hair: Courtney Gillum
Stephanie's makeup: Done by herself
Stephanie's earrings: Mejuri